Comic

THE NEW C.R.K. TEACHER

A new CRK teacher was transferred to a JSS2 class at mid-term, and wanted to know how well the students understood the syllabus so far. He decided to start from the last topic the previous teacher had taught. "Hello class," he greeted, "Who broke down the walls of Jericho?" There was a full minute of absolute silence.
All the students just stared at him blankly. The teacher then pointed at the students in the front row to answer the question. The students began responding:
Amos: "Sir, I'm a new student here, I just started this school last week."
James: "Sir, the day the walls were broken, I didn't come to school, I swear."
Sarah: "Sir, I only passed by the walls of Jericho, I didn't even touch it, as it was already broken when I passed."
Ayo: "Sir, I didn't even know the walls had been broken until you mentioned it now.
The teacher became so infuriated, "WHAT!!!" he screamed. The students began murmuring amongst themselves that the new teacher is so mean. The teacher, shocked by their ignorance, stormed the principal’s office to tell him what happened.

The principal kindly responded: "Sorry about that. You know how mischievous these JSS student can be? Always destroying things and later denying it. But be rest assured this matter would be fully investigated. Just write down the total cost of fixing the said wall, and at the next PTA meeting the Issue would be discussed!!!"

2015 Diocesan Medical Outreach : Inspiring Stories

Tell us about yourself

My name is Alhaji Ibrahim, I am 32 years of age and I'm married. We left our village at about 2am this morning and got here (the venue of the outreach) at about 3: 45am

Why did you come here knowing fully well that this outreach was organized by Christians?

We are one and there is no difference, just as the government encourage us to live in peace, we have embraced peace and accepted Christians as equals.

How do you feel being here?

Before I got here, I felt pain around my neck, but since I got here I don’t feel any pain. We are grateful to God Almighty about the Good news and Jesus and we can’t dispute that your religion is a true one. We heard that the treatment here is top notch. I used to bring my siblings and family every year but today I am here.

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The QUEST is On! be a part of it

My Story

                                                            

JESUS DID NOT MESS ME UP 

I testify of what God has done in my life, especially to those who feel that because life have messed them up there is no point living. I say this because I know what it is to be rejected and messed up by life but Jesus came to my rescue. I developed a fungi infection at an early stage of my life; my head was literary rotten and smelled so bad that it scared people away from me. Being in the boarding school, some students reported to the principal that my presence at dinning irritated them, so I was barred from going to the dining hall to eat. I had to beg my friends to help me collect food from dinning and sometimes when they forget, I go hungry. It got so bad that each time I offered people food to eat, nobody wanted to take from me and when I offered to buy them edibles, they will have to pick it with their own hands, if not they won’t collect. I was taken from one hospital to another, yet there was no solution, it continued like that until a trado-medical practitioner developed a shampoo and soap for me that aided in killing the odor and each time I missed using them, it was very easy to notice. Out of frustration and anger one day my mother used pot scrub to scrub my head. Nobody wanted me to waste their water washing my head and so when it rained, I would stand under the rain to wash my head, until that fateful day.

I had traveled to spend couple of days away from home when it dawned on me that I forgot my soap and shampoo. When the predicament I was to face dawned on me of how badly my head will smell the next couple of days, I cried unto God that night, telling Him that unless He helps me, nobody will. I was astonished the next morning when I woke up and looked at the mirror, about eighty percent of the wounds on my head had healed and that was how God turned my life around.

Apostle Joshua Salman Nimakk Zaria, Kaduna - Nigeria

Today Apostle Joshua Salman Nimakk is a powerful preacher, bringing the gospel of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ to students on campus and hosts powerful gathering such as Koinonia in Zaria where the presence of God Almighty is made manifest and his head that was said that will never have any growth of hair on it, has hair growing on it.

Comic

Comic   

THE SLEEPING CO-WORKER

One of our co-workers went missing for a few hours and we tore up his office in search of him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than waking him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest: "as long as you're asleep, you have a job but as soon as you wake up, you're fired!" Should this man wake up or continue sleeping?

Wonder Works of Water

Revelation Kitchen

Wonder Works of Water

Culled by Grace Basheru

                                                                                                                                                ushuwa4luv23@yahoo.com

Have you ever taken a moment to think just how important water is to you?

1.            Did you know that water makes up more than two-third of our body weight?

2.            Did you know that water keeps your mouth and lungs moist and washes away dirt and grim on your eyes?

3.            Did you know that water moisturizes the skin to maintain its texture and appearance?

4.            Did you know that water lubricates our joints, thereby keeping them from getting stiff and making sure motion is smooth?

5.            Did you know that water aids digestion and prevents constipation?

6.            Did you know that water regulates body temperature through sweating?

7.            Did you know that water is the most widely involved substance in the body makeup?

8.            Did you know that water is vital in delivering oxygen to the muscles and helps the body perform physical labor more effectively?

9.            Did you know that water is the fundamental solvent for all biochemical processes in our bodies?

10.          Did you know that water serves as a shock absorber inside the eyes, spinal cord and in the amniotic sac surrounding the fetus in pregnancy?

11.          Did you know that the body can get 20 per cent of its total water requirements from solid foods?

12.          Did you know that shortage of water in the body can increase the risk of kidney stone and in women urinary track infection?

13.          Did you also know that shortage of water in the body can lead to dehydration?

14.          Did you also know that excess water in the body can also cause hyponatraemia, although this is very rare?

15.          Did you know that an adult is expected to drink 8-10 glasses of water daily?

Cultivate the habit of drinking water because our bodies do not store water and as such needs constant replenishment be it in the form of drinks or table water.

Quote

“… The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they, while their companions slept were toiling upward in the night” – Longfellow (Poet)